Bullying

I guess bullying is becoming a bigger problem everywhere you go.  We recently had to deal with some bullying issues at Haylee's school, and ended up having her transferred to another classroom.  In talking with my sister about that situation, I learned that her youngest son has also had to deal with bullying.  Now that those incidents have been dealt with and are behind us, a new problem within Carter's Boy Scout troop has popped up.

The first I learned of this issue was during the January camp-out.  The January camp-out was a different setup than most.  First of all it was an indoor camp-out, meaning that we had rented a lodge to stay in.  Secondly, there were two floors, so we put all the boys downstairs and the adults slept upstairs.  The final piece of the puzzle was that the senior patrol leaders slept in a separate room downstairs which left all the younger kids more or less on their own.  Yes, I know... with this setup, we were asking for problems.

Anyway, with the adults watching a movie upstairs and the senior patrol leaders going to bed in their own little room, the stage was set and the bullying began.  There wasn't anything truly major, but some horsing around by a couple of the boys at the expense of a couple others.  Things became loud enough for some of the adults to hear and the Scoutmaster went down to resolve the problem.  Things were quickly back under control and I thought that was the end of it.  However, at the next committee meeting I learned that this was not the case.

One of the boys that was a victim of the pranks decided that he wanted to quit as a result of the bullying.  As a result of that, we decided to have a counselor come speak to the group.  Our hopes were that this would allow everyone to get everything out on the table and provide us with the knowledge and tools to avoid any further incidents in the future.

Surprisingly, we were able to get a counselor to come to the very next meeting.  Unfortunately, the scout that stated he was going to drop because of the incident did not attend.  However, the two primary offenders were both present.  What followed was a rather lengthy and somewhat productive meeting with all the boys participating and coming up with solutions to implement moving forward.

However, there was one specific part of the meeting that I wanted to share.  One of the questions asked by the counselor was how many of them had ever taken the role of the bully at any point in time.  Every single boy there raised their hand except for one, my son.  Naturally, with only one boy not stepping forward, the counselor focused on him and tried to get him to recall some scenario where he had joined in and taken the role of the bully.

What followed was incredible to see.  Every one of the boys there jumped to Carter's defense saying they had never seen him join in and take that role, nor did they believe that he ever would.  It was a very proud moment to be able witness all of the boys defending Carter and hearing them say what a nice guy he is.

Anyway, this is turning out to be quite a lengthy post and it was not really intended to be.  The bottom line is that bullying is becoming more and more prevalent and we as parents need to do what we can to prevent it and make sure that we instill the correct values to make sure our kids are part of the solution and not part of the problem.

Coming Together

It has been a long time since I posted anything here.  The simple reason for that is things have been busy.  The last set of posts were all related to completing the Body By Vi Challenge and losing weight.  The reason Lindsey and I were doing that was to prepare for our wedding and honeymoon.

The wedding went off without a hitch, well almost anyway.  Nothing that any of the guests noticed.  We had a little difficulty in the morning with Lindsey's car not starting, and then a small mix-up on the menu at the reception.  However, it was a wonderful ceremony and I couldn't have been happier with the way everything turned out.

As great as the wedding was, the honeymoon was even better.  We had an incredible time, and we both enjoyed every single minute of it!  It was like another world.  The weather was perfect.  The beach was like a post card.  The food was amazing.  It was exactly what we both wanted and needed.  A perfect week to relax and enjoy life without a care in the world.

Since then, school has started and everyone has gotten back into their normal routines.  Lindsey is working for MPS as a sub, which works out perfect for us.  She has the same schedule as the kids and it is not a problem for her to take a day or two off if anyone gets sick and needs to stay home, and I finally managed to get child support payments stopped so I can actually use that money for what it is intended (taking care of the kids).  In fact, I plan to take them to Vala's this weekend.

All in all, life is good, and it is wonderful to finally see everything coming together.

Body By Vi

90 Day Challenge - DONE

We didn't hit the 100 pound mark, but I would still have to say that it was a very successful 90 days.  We finished 93.6 pounds lighter than we started.  We both feel much healthier, we have more energy, and we are both looking forward to staying healthy and seeing further improvements.

As you can see, there were a couple small bumps along the way, but by doing it together we were almost always able to see positive results for the day.  I have to say almost, because there were special occasions in there where we both had minor setbacks at the same time.  However, we both knew the cause for these and we were able to get back on track after the birthday weekend or camping trip was over.

Now that the first challenge is complete, we both plan to continue the diet.  However, we don't want to start a new 90 day challenge just yet.  We will be leaving for our honeymoon in just under a month, so we will be waiting to start the next 90 day challenge until after we return.

19 Days Remaining

We are in the final weeks of the challenge now, and I am happy to say that I am only 1.4 pounds away from my goal weight.  At this point, I don't think hitting my goal is going to be a problem.  My question is more of if I should try to lose more or be happy at my original goal weight.  

I think the answer I am going to go with is to keep doing what I am doing.  If I lose more, then that is great.  If not, then I must have picked the correct goal weight to start with.

I have to say that I knew I would be able to lose weight on this program.  However, I didn't think that it would provide the transformation that it did in such a short time.  I am still debating if I will post before and after pictures or not.  I still have almost 3 weeks left, so I still have some time to find the courage to be able to post them.  I know Lindsey wants me to, and I'm good with the after photos.... just not so sure about the before shot.  

Anyway, with just under three weeks left, we are both trying to stay motivated and intend to finish this 90 day challenge strong.

6 Weeks In

Lindsey and I are now six weeks into the 90 day challenge, which is three days shy of the halfway point, and I am happy to report that we are down a combined 51.2 pounds!  That means we are more than half way to our goal of losing 100 pounds, and we are ON TARGET.

I have to say that it definitely helps to have someone else doing this program with you.  There are days when the numbers aren't what you want them to be.  There are times when the numbers take small steps in the wrong direction.  However, by being able to look at the combined number instead of just my own, I am able to see progress almost every day.  Even on the days when one of us takes a small step in the wrong direction, the other is able to make up for it and we are still able to post positive results for the day.  Because of this, we both continue to move forward and are down over fifty pounds and are more than half way to our goal.  We both have more energy than we did a month ago, and we are both much healthier than we have been in a long time.

The bottom line is, I am happy with what we have been able to do so far, and I am looking forward to the rest of the journey!

Spilt Energy Drink

I know, lame title.  I mean who cares about the fact that I am a clumsy oaf that spilled my energy drink yesterday?  Well, that's not really the reason for this post.  The reason for this post is what happened after I cleaned up the mess.

I had been dragging and really felt like I needed that extra little boost, so I looked around and found one leftover can of diet Mt. Dew.  I hadn't had a soda in over two weeks and have been doing pretty well with the diet, so I decided that one can couldn't hurt.  I opened the can and took a whiff of the aroma from within.  It was stronger than I remembered.  I was hesitant, but proceeded to go ahead and take a small drink.  Wow!  After having had nothing but water (or flavored water) to drink for two weeks, this was more flavor than I had experienced in a long time.  It was too much.  I had to take a drink of my water to wash out the flavor.  The rest of the can took me an hour to finish, and after each drink, I had some more water to help wash it down.

I know this seems crazy, and a little unrealistic, especially coming from a person that used to drink as much soda as I did.  However, I am actually happy to say that this is reality.  I am back to drinking just my water (or flavored water) and I like it!

12 Days In

Lindsey and I are almost two weeks into the 90 day challenge, and although not every day shows us the results we are wanting to see, we are definitely both doing well and on our way to being healthier and more active!  After the first 12 days, we are down a combined 24.4 pounds!  We even went to the YMCA over the weekend where Lindsey did some cycling while I swam with the kids.  Lindsey even went back the next day to get in a little more time on the bike.

The boost in our energy levels is also noticeable around the house.  We are both getting up and getting things done.  It feels wonderful to have the energy to be able to take on all the chores around the house and still care more about being able to go for a run than what shows are on tv that evening.

The diet itself is also getting easier.  I'm not sure if I am just getting used to the slight hunger feeling, or what the reason is, but I have noticed that I don't want to eat large portions and I am finding it easier and easier to steer away from the unhealthy foods.  Bottom line so far is that we are both seeing good results, are happy with the program so far, and we are looking forward to seeing continued improvements in our numbers.

5 Days In

Lindsey and I are now 5 days into the Body By Vi Challenge, and between the two of us we are already down over 13 pounds.  The first couple days were really difficult for both of us.  However, starting to see results and the numbers coming down seems to help with being able to stay on and keep true to the program.

It is definitely a challenge to give up eating two meals a day.  Okay, let me rephrase, the challenge comes from the third meal, and trying NOT to make up for the fact that you skipped (or only had a shake for) the first two.  I fixed a really good dinner last night.  It was a healthy meal with teriyaki chicken, rice, and steamed broccoli.  However, the problem is portion control.  I went a little overboard and ended up taking a small step back on my personal numbers.  Oh well, lesson learned.  I need to realize that even though it is healthy food, I can still only eat reasonable portions and need to be much more vigilant when it comes to portion control.

Also, I think we are both already feeling a little better physically.  We went for a walk together on Saturday, and I even tried to go for a run.  I'm not sure how much of it was from the diet, or how much was from the first decent warm weather and the simple opportunity to actually get out and get some sunshine. Either way, it was great to get out and although I think we were both pretty sore the next day, we are both looking forward to being able to add more physical exercise to our routines.

Day 2 of 90

To answer the first question, NO, I will not be posting a daily update on here every day.  However, being as I have now completed one full day and have a little more insight, I thought I would share what I have learned thus far.

The number one thing to make this program work will be a commitment to it.  Without that, it will not work.  There is no other way to say it.  My reasoning for saying this is that this is not going to be a simple process.  The shakes do not completely fill you from one meal to the next, and therefore, you have to keep some resolve and discipline in order to keep from straying and eating other things in between.  Lots of water seems to help with this.

Also, there are no guidelines for the one meal a day that is not replaced by the shake.  This again leaves things open and therefore requires some individual commitment to losing weight.  Keep the end result in mind and don't over eat and trash what you had already accomplished that day.

My initial thoughts on the drink supplements are that they do not really do a whole lot for you.  However, they do require you to drink an extra glass of water for each of them, and therefore, the simple fact that they get you drinking more water is a good thing.  Hopefully this will become habit forming and will replace other beverages adding to overall health during the program.

The two other supplements that are included are Omega capsules and a pill designed to boost your metabolism.  At this point, I'm not sure what kind of effect either of these really has, but I will stick with them and take them as part of my regular routine.

Anyway, it has only been one day, so that is all the insight I can provide thus far.  However, I am already down 2.2 pounds, so I am looking forward to seeing continued progress.

The 90 Day Challenge

Lindsey and I are starting the "Body By Vi" 90 day challenge.  The plan is to look good for our wedding and be ready to hit the beach for our honeymoon afterwards.  To be more specific, we plan to lose at least 100 pounds between the two of us.  So, with that goal in mind, we decided the Body by Vi challenge would be a good way to get us where we want to be.

We ordered the transformation kit for each of us.  At basically $200 each for a 30 day supply, we are already $400 in and will have 2 months left to purchase.  With this kind of investment, I am really hoping to be able to see some results.

It is the morning of Day 1, and I had my first shake (mixed with skim milk).  The taste was not bad, but I'm sure I will be getting a little tired of it by the end of this thing.  I guess that's why they throw in the additional flavor packs.  There will obviously be a need to start mixing things up a bit.

I am now at work and I have cleaned out my coffee cup so it can be used for water and the two additional packets I am supposed to drink today.  The first one will be a raspberry boost smart energy drink.  I guess we'll have to see if it can give me the boost I am used to getting from my regular morning coffee.  The second does not appear to be much of anything, but is designed to help curb my appetite, so I will save it for later in the day when it might be needed.

Anyway, I hope to continue with further updates and progress.  Wish us both luck!

Best to Worst

... and working on back again.

Three years ago, I was in the best shape of my life.  I was running everyday, eating right, playing basketball regularly, and even ran the Des Moines marathon.  Today, I think I'm in the worst shape I have ever been in.  I don't think I could run a quarter of a mile without having to stop and walk.

That is the best to worst part.  Now, it's time for the "and back again".

Thanks to Lindsey, I have started eating right again.  In the first three days, I have lost five and half punds, and I am looking forward to getting back to where I was.  I know that it is going to take a lot more than just eating correctly. It is also going to take some serious amounts of excercise.  Finding the time to be able to do this is going to be the most difficult part.  However, with Lindsey by my side trying to do the same thing, I am hoping it is a journey that we will be able to take and accomplish together while having lots of fun getting there along the way.

Wish us luck!

UNO

In reading through past posts, I noticed that I mentioned Andrew leaving us for college this fall.  I am happy to say that this is no longer the case as Andrew will be remaining with us and attending UNO.  He still has a little bit of work to do in regards to orientation, scheduling classes, and figuring out the finances for it, but I'm sure it will all come together in time for him to attend this fall.

It would have been really difficult for Carter and Emily to not have him around anymore.  They need as much stability in their lives as we can provide right now, so this was a welcomed change to the plans for 2012. 

Engaged

A few posts back in "A New Year", I stated that one of the planned changes in my life that was on the horizon was a change in marital status.  However, I also stated that in order for that to happen, I needed to get a fiance first.  Well, I am happy to report that the first step is now complete and Lindsey has agreed to fulfill that role.

At this point, it looks like the second half of this (actually getting married), won't happen until sometime next summer.  This will allow both of us time to do the planning and get things ready.  We also wanted to allow a little extra time to let the little ones get used to the idea.  However, Haylee is very excited and her enthusiasm has been helping to win Emily over on the idea.  I have to admit, I am also really looking forward to being able to look down and see a ring on my finger as well.

Time Out

After eating ribs the other night, we cleaned up the table and sat down to watch a little tv.  When I later came back to the kitchen to get myself something to drink, this is what I found:

Yep... puppy had decided that he would like to have the left over ribs now in the trash for his dinner.  Andrew decided that he needed to be put in timeout for his behavior.  However, being as it isn't possible to simply put him in the corner and tell him to stay... this is what he came up with:

Goals

I stated in my last post that I intended to stay focused on the goals in front of me.  However, what are those goals?  In order to be able to stay focused on them, I need to know what they are.  Therefore, I decided to take a few minutes to jot down my top short term goals.

1. Be the best dad I can be - this is a short term goal that has a longer term goal in mind.  The longer term goal being to get full custody of my yougest two children. 
2. Get moved and settled into the new house - This is very short term at this point as we are supposed to be taking posession in just over two weeks.  So this item definately needs some focus over the next couple of weeks, or we simply won't be ready when moving day comes.
3. Be the best me I can be - I know, a bit generic.  However, if I focus on being the best me I can be, I feel that other things will fall in place and through this other smaller, more specific goals, can be achieved. 

By focusing on these simple things, I will accomplish things like getting in better shape, losing some weight, being nice to those around me, and who knows, maybe even get the chance to be a husband again and gain a couple step children in addition to getting full custody of my own.

Forward

There are many things and people in my past that have led me to where I am today.  However, if I I am moving forward and always looking backwards to the past, I will not be able to see where I am going.  Worse yet, if I focus too much on the past and concentrate on it, I think my direction might change towards it.  Isn't it human nature to move in the direction you're facing?

Therefore, I will keep my focus on the goals that lie in fron of me.  Just like Lewis Robinson, I intend to "Keep moving forward".

Custody

I have heard horror stories when it comes to custody battles, and with my ex-wife, I was positive that if I ever filed to have full custody, she would do everything possible to make all of those horror stories look like a children's fairy tale in comparison.  However, do to the events over the last couple of months, I am planning on doing just that.  I will be filing for full custody.

There are still several hoops that I will have to jump through in order to even be able to file.  However, I am now confident that not only will I be able to file, but I am also confident that I will be able to win without the long drawn out process and huge battles in and out of court.  At least I hope and pray that this is the case.

I have had temporary custody of the kids for a little over a month now, and having them back in my life has been amazing.  I will admit that there are some difficulties to overcome, but I love being faced with these challenges.  I no longer get as much sleep as I used to and the house is messier, but it is not only filled with more clothes on the floor and art projects everywhere, it is also filled with more smiles, laughter and love, and I plan on doing everything I can to make sure it stays that way.

New Hotness

It may not be the same one we were originally looking at, but he seems to like it and it gets him from A to B.  There was another one that we were going to look at that I think would have been a really good deal and probably lasted a bit longer than what I expect this one will.  However, when we went to go see it, it was sold litterally five minutes before we got there.  Oh well, I guess this little Pontiac Sunfire is now officially part of our family.  Hopefully, it will be with us longer than Old and Busted was.

Old and Busted

Well, that is the name Andrew has given this wonderful little hunk of junk that has stranded him on his way to school at least four times now.  The good news is that there is currently no worries that it will die on him while he is on his way to school.  The bad news is that this is because of the fact that it won't start.

In the short period of time he has had the car, we have already spent a couple hundred dollars in maintenance, and there are numerous other items that need to be fixed.  That is, would need to be fixed if the car actually ran.  Being as it does not run, there is not really any immediate need to fix anything.

Due to the amount it would cost to get "old and busted" back into working condition, we are looking to find "new hotness" for Andrew.  Sorry for the naming, but it is from a scene from MIB II that Andrew has taken to use as naming for his vehicles.  I'm not sure this "new hotness" would ever be the star of any showroom floor, but for the moment, it is the car that Andrew has his eye on and I think we are going to go take it for a test drive tonight.  If all goes well, maybe Andrew and the kids will have some reliable transportation to get them to and from school, hotness or not.

A New Year

Well, the new year has begun, and it is promising to bring with it lots of new things.

At the top of the list of new things has to be the fact that my youngest two little ones are now living with us.  Currently, this is only a temporary thing while my ex tries to work out some personal issues.  However, we are hoping to make them permanent residents of Omaha, and have already started the initial paperwork to make this happen.

The second item on the list is that it is once again time to move.  We had moved into a smaller place in order to save money.  However, now that we have a total of seven people living in a two bedroom apartment, I believe a move is definitely in order.  We already signed the lease and will be moving in just over a month.  I'm not exactly looking forward to the move itself, but I am definitely looking forward to having the extra space once we are there.

Along with the new house and having the kids, we will also be needing some new beds so everyone will have a place to sleep and call their own.  These are the ones that we have picked out for the boys, and of course there will be a matching dresser to go with them.

Other new items that 2012 will bring include the fact that Andrew will be leaving us for college.  Right now, he is wanting to go to the University of Iowa, so that will be a big adjustment for everyone as we will not get to see him too often with him being that far away.  Although I will be sad to see him go, I wish him well and hope that he does well and gains everything he needs while away and hope that once he is done that maybe he will decide to find employment a little closer to home.

The final item on the horizon for 2012 is a change in marital status.  Although technically I am pretty sure that I need to have a fiance before this can happen, I am looking forward to everything the new year has to offer, and I am hoping that this item will be among the list of changes.