Dreams...

Of course, as we are growing up, everyone dreams of a happy life for themselves in the future. For most, these dreams change over time, but typically involve a loving spouse and some specified number of children that the individual has decided upon.

However, I guess they key part in the above statement is the fact that these dreams change over time. Sometimes we have to let go of our dreams in order to make room for new ones, and you never know.... What comes to pass might end up being better than what the original dream was to start with.

For the longest time, I had the dream of that happy family and I did not want to let it go. However, the tighter I held onto it, the worse things seemed to get. I realized this some time ago, and finally decided to let go of that dream. Letting go of that dream was very difficult for me because I had already chased it for so long, and in the process of trying to manufacture that dream, I had four incredible children. The portion I had the most difficulty with, was the realization that letting go of that dream did not mean letting them go. They are still very much a part of my life and a part of who I am. However, I have a new dream for me and my future. A dream where I am happy once again, and I have someone to share with and create new memories. New family moments to enjoy. Tickles, laughs, hugs to savor, and ducks to feed. The incredible part about this is that I am not dreaming. I'm awake and it is real.