Today was an exceptionally bad day for me. I know this has been coming for a long time. However, I did not foresee just how ugly things would get when it came down to actually filing.
I was served with papers today. When I first found out that I was being served, my initial reaction was a feeling of relief. I was happy in thinking that she had filed and I was receiving the papers for divorce. However, of course I could not be that lucky. The papers were not related to her filing for divorce, but were instead were restraining order papers preventing me from returning to the house and being able to see the kids. She is afraid that I might just put them in the car with me and bring them back to Omaha (I guess in retrospect, I should not have said there was nothing to prevent me from doing that when she was yelling at me last weekend).
I am certain that it is all just a ploy and a way to position herself in preparation for what is coming. I had told her during the previous weekend to expect her divorce papers to be served to her this week. However, although knowing it is simply posturing for the proceedings to come, it still hurts knowing that for the moment, I cannot return to the house to see my little ones.
I have called my older boys, and they have both stated that they will help me in being able to speak to the other two whenever possible. That helps to an extent. I am sure I will be able to get through this and that everything will turn out in the end. However, I am not looking forward to all the wonderful little things that I just know I get to look forward to before that happens.
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