Two Lives

Life seems strange to me, and I never thought I would ever be in the position I am in. For the longest time, I lived what many thought to be the ideal life. However, that was only when viewed from a distance. As time went on, it became more and more evident that the ideal life I had always wanted simply was not to be.

From that point, I moved into the next stage and started a second life in Omaha. This new stage was not all that different from where I was before. I was simply working in a different city, but the rest of my life remained in Des Moines. My work was always a separate part of my life before, so this was not all that different. I still had a work life and a home life. It was just that my work life was much further away and lasted a full week rather than just the work day. However, being away from the kids was very difficult for me for a long time. Especially when I would get those late calls at night and hear my little girl crying because daddy was not there. As time went on however, this lessened and things became a little easier (for the little ones as well as for myself).

The next stage was for me to actually start a life outside of work here in Omaha. This was a bit of a difficult step for me. I have never been really big on going out and meeting new people. However, I met Lindsey, and things began to change. The more time I spent with Lindsey, the shorter the weeks became. Before, I would always look forward to the weekends, and going back to Des Moines to see the kids. Now, things are not so simple. Part of me still looks forward to seeing my kids on the weekend. However, now I am also torn because I want to be able to stay and spend time with Lindsey as well. I am going to start alternating weekends in order to be able to have a little of both.

A final stage? This part is a little difficult for me to talk about, and I have no idea how far off this will be, and is really just speculation at this point in time. However, I have come to realize that I can not continue the current stage indefinately. Driving back and forth takes a lot out of a person, and eventually, I am going to need to progress to another stage. I could be wrong, but ultimately, I think I will need to get back to having one life, and that life will be here in Omaha. The hard part about this is in order for it to really work, I need my kids to be happy... and for the little ones to be happy, they need someone there. This leaves me in a bit of a predicament. However, as much as I hate to say it... there is a solution to this, and I think eventually, it will come to pass. Michelle needs to meet someone that makes her happy, and that can be there for my little ones. Like I said, this part is difficult for me to talk about. The bottom line is, I can't be in two places at once, and I want them to be happy. However, I deserve to be happy too, and this is the only way I can see that happening.

Anyway, for now I will stick with having two lives and alternate weekends. Sorry for the lengthy post, but I wanted to share where I am at right now, and how I am torn between my two lives, and wanting to be in two places at once. I love spending time with my little ones, but at the same time, I have been happier the last couple of months than I have been in MANY years. I don't want that happiness to ever end.

Father's Day

Being as I more or less have two lives now, one in Omaha, and one in Des Moines, I am celebrating Father's Day twice this year.

With my sweetie
There was nothing lavish or over the top. Rather, it was a nice, quiet, relaxing evening that included one simple and very touching gift. I have always said that it is the simple little things that I love so much about Lindsey, and her gift reminded me of just how incredible she is with those little things.

Everyone knows that I spend my weeks here in Omaha, and that I am away from my kids during the week. Her gift to me was a card and four silver picture frames for me to keep here. One for each of my children. So I can keep them close, and see them every night. Like I said... not a huge gift, but very special to me and it touched my heart. Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to have found someone so thoughtful and caring.

With my kids
Father's Day had a little bit of a rocky start for me. I had a HUGE implementation Saturday night, so I was on a conference call from 10:30 until about 2:30 am Sunday morning. With that, I was hoping to be able to sleep in a little and that didn't happen. Anyway, once the day actually got started it turned out to be a pretty good day. I spent most of it being lazy and playing with Em. She was in a playful mood all day, and of course I had to take advantage of that.

After playing most of the day, I enjoyed a nice spaghetti dinner prepared by the kids. Johnathan always loves to cook, so of course it was good. He had made a nice Chinese dinner for everyone the night before also. Once everyone was stuffed, I went back to being lazy and went down to watch a movie. Em was tired from playing all day and she snuggled in on my lap and crashed in just a few minutes. It was a good ending to a good day.

The Race for the Cure

It was an amazing day. There were over 66,000 people there and it was incredible.


I can't take credit for some of the pictures, but there is no way I could have gotten this perspective.


Everywhere you turn, there was more PINK.


The sheer number of people was unbelievable. What's even more amazing is somehow my sister managed to get lost in this crowd. So after I finished the run, I went back aound the loop weaving through this sea of people... and actually FOUND her! Can you believe it?

The St. Louis Bread Company donated bagels... free bagels for everyone! The mountain of bagels was huge. The scary part was there was another mountain of boxes that had already been collapsed that was almost just as big.

A Great Birthday!

I honestly can't remember the last time I had a birthday that was as nice and relaxing as last night. It will definately be one that I will remember for years to come. I'll share some of the things that I recieved...

My cake... I was too full after dinner for this. I'll have to have some tonight.

I can't wait to use this. I'm just debating on if it should be before or after my 5K race this coming weekend.

This was so touching. Lindsey played the song Cinderella for me off of the CD. I had not heard it before. She said every time she sees the picture of me dancing with Em, she thinks of that song. I loved it, and I can only hope that I will eventually share all of those dances with my own little Cinderella.

Dinner was at The Melting Pot. This was my first time there, and it was wonderful. All in all, it was a great evening with great company. I could not have asked for a better birthday!

My first weekend in Omaha

Well, after having lived and worked here for over a year, I finally spent my first weekend here. To put it simply, it was wonderful. I wish all my weekends could be as nice and relaxing. First of all, it was nice not having to start the weekend with a two and half hour drive back to Des Moines after work on Friday. Instead, I was able to go home and relax with Lindsey and the kiddos.

Saturday morning, it was time to get ready for the zoo. Yes, this was also my first trip to the Omaha zoo. It was a perfect day for the zoo, and that was obvious as soon as we got close. It looked like there were quite a few poeple that had the same idea. Once we got through the lines, it wasn't bad at all. It was a nice relaxing day, and I thoroughly enjoyed the time with Lindsey and the kids. I think it wore everyone out a little though. Everyone ended up crashing on the way home, all but Lindsey of course since she was driving. I think has she not been, she would have joined the rest of us and taken a nap.

The rest of the weekend was just relaxing and enjoyable. I can't remember the last time I have had a weekend quite that nice. I would like to thank Lindsey for helping me to have the best weekend I have had in a LONG time. Hopefully, I will be able to spend more weekends in Omaha in the future.